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Monday, November 29, 2010

how can i be happy when you're not? :(

sigh..
lately, bbon's been sighing alot..
i just dont want him to be sad or troubled..
i wish he knew tt for every sigh he lets out,
i feel dampened..
i want him to know how much i want to be there for him..
but can i??
that just makes me feel worst..
cos i cant help cheer him up..
i cant help reduce his agony..
i cant do anything for him..

anyway my bro managed to secure an interview session for bbon..
i was freaking glad when my bro called me this morn to tell me the news..
i hope the interview goes well this wed
so tt bbon's woes will go away..
but then again, did trying to help really helped??

how can i be happy when you're not?? :(

8:46 PM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

Sunday, November 28, 2010

down and unmotivated

sigh..
tons of work and revision to do..
i want this phase to pass quickly..
ive been up to my neck this few days but fortunately
i managed to stay happy throughout..

however,
im not exactly that happy at the moment..
so many things to be done..
anyway had fun at work today..
went home, tired, fell asleep and now im awake..
gotta start doing work now..

god, pls let this phase pass quickly

5:36 PM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

Thursday, November 25, 2010

gonna be as busy as a bee!

ok hello again..
i just finished updating the group's quotation report..
im supposed to study now..
well i will, soon..
after blogging probably..
anyway, i ate today..
damn i feel so FAT!!
but i guess tts a good thing cos i need to fatten up..
grr!!

anyway, exams are nearing, so....
im gonna be relatively busy in the next two weeks..
sigh..

ok wats in for me this week and next??
hmm CSW test tmr, job briefing on sat, work on sun,
budget deadline on monday, venue & space presentation on tues..
did i miss out anything??
hmm and the week after next is test week!!
ARGH..
save me!!
stress is coming!!
:'(

lalalala..ok toodles..study time..

8:45 PM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

Monday, November 22, 2010

where is my brother?

havent heard from ezam yet..
he deactivated his facebook..he's seldom on msn..
how?? i feel worried..
what if he does something stupid over there??
sometimes i feel that we both share telepathy..
i feel what he feels..
i know how he's feeling..
sigh..pls call me bro..

8:45 PM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

Sunday, November 21, 2010

i hate misunderstandings..

i made bbon mad at me again..
ok this time, i think its more of me hurting him..
why must i keep making him angry or hurt??
i really felt bad..
that was why i immediately went back down when he texted me..
honestly i felt the hurt in his text..
so what went through my mind was.....

i had to go down and see him to tell him how sorry i am

i swear if he had taken the bus and left i would have cried right there and then..
luckily he was still at the bus stop..
fortunately we managed to clear it up..
i still think im in the wrong though..
his words pierced through my heart but i know i have to handle it..

"would you text me if hadnt text you first? would you hold me if i hadnt hold you first?"
i might not have answered it just now, but my answer is a definite YES!

bbon im really sorry about my attitude towards you..
im sorry i let my mood affect the way i treated you..
i cant promise it wont happen again cos sometimes i just get cranky for no reason,
but i promise it wont happen often..
:)

thank goodness its all cleared now..
:)

9:44 PM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

one month have passed

one month's passed..
well happy 1st month anniversary ryan iskandar..
its past 12mn..so its 21st alrdy..im late in blogging this..
its supposed to be on 20th..ouh well..
love you bbon..

12:25 AM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

Friday, November 19, 2010

tears..

bbon was mad at me today :(

it made me feel bad..

but i really didnt do anything wrong..

at least i told him..

cos i didnt wanna keep anything from him..

but he said my explanation doesnt make sense..

:'(

i wasnt lying..

nvm..

ive been home the whole day after coming back from sch..

haven done anything productive..

and there i was blogging away and bbon rang me up..

he said he was under my block??

gasp!!

so there he was, all smart dressed, back from work..

with a sunflower in his hands..(stuffed toy)

i dont know what i was feeling..

its like i wanna cry, smile and scream..

but all in all, i just want him to know how much i love him..

and having this misunderstanding today,

a day before our month anniversary,

made me realise that being loved is a gift but loving someone is

a greater gift..

i love you.

9:15 PM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

why oh why are posers around?

little miss poser is back..
nyehnyehnyeh..
up to you..
i have no comments..
erm..but lets see..
have fun deluding yourself :)

6:14 PM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

Monday, November 15, 2010

finally the air is cleared

ok like finally..
ive told my mummy about ryan..
erm it was tough..really..
showed her his pic..
mummy just laughed and said he looks chubby..
mummy was anticipating me to tell her anyway since
somehow she alrdy knew..
ok thats the highlight for today..
~toink toink toink~

ps: i really need to cut my hair soon..

7:17 PM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

Sunday, November 14, 2010

questions

why do you even bother coming home if you're fucking loaded??
arent you freaking rich now??
arent we nothing but trash in your eyes??
so why bother sticking around??

ps: i loathe you..even though part of you is in me, i wish it wasnt..

8:47 PM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

long long day

hello im tired..
i worked yst (since its past 12 now)..
and after that, i went to fana's pit..
my back hurts but idk why..

ok anyway worked together with bf..
tts a first..
had to be stationed at this dragon's trail at sentosa..
cool or wat?
b4 the amazing race started, we kinda took pictures and just do some stupid dupid stuff..
hmm..
but i aint have any pics of us together in my hp..
its all in his..
so..yeah..

it was a rather great experience..
had fun..
too much fun maybe??
haha..no idea..
ok anyway..
left fana's pit at arnd 10pm..
took bus..had some er.....random talks??
it was a random topic afterall wasnt it??
and i ended up hurting his feelings..
just to clear it up bf, i said the same thing over and over again cos im tired..
i really didnt mean it tt way..

ok and ezam's back frm thailand for a week..
now idk wat else to talk about..
my mind's a little messy at the moment..
alright..
im lazy, tired and cant think..
so im gonna buzz off now..
toodles noodleheads :)

12:41 AM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

Thursday, November 11, 2010

site visits arent so bad..

been having like tons of site visits..
here, there and everywhere..
but its kinda fun actually..
especially when you have fun ppl arnd..

anyway hmm..been feeling alright past few days i guess..
settled some minor stuff..
am currently on schedule i guess..
cant wait for saturday!!
gonna work!! yay!!
alright now i gtg get on with my work..
stupid research..
-.-

ok bye!

10:22 PM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

old lena's back

sigh..
the old man's at it again..
sometimes i just wish he's mute or something..
seriously..

i feel like leaving home..
i really do..
but where can i go??
what do i have??
money?? yeah i have tt, but how long can i last with the amount i have??
3-4 months??
what will happen then??
i die??
gee..

i dont wanna flare up,
i wanna avoid confrontations..
so what should i do??
just shut myself up??
risk becoming insane for bottling up like fuck??
ive had enough..
i just wish to go through each day without experiencing much hoo haa..

do you feel me??
sigh..
i wish someone does..

7:18 PM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

Sunday, November 7, 2010

er?? whats my purpose today??

ok sexy and hotties..
for the first time in my blogging history,
my blogger's dying..
aww..
no i shall try not to let it die although seriously, all blogs are dying nowadays..
thanks to other social networks like facebook and twitter..
wait, why am i talking about this??

ok change of topic,
er..here in the pic above is me and mr ryan iskandar!!
mummy doesnt know about him yet..
i'll tell her soon..
daddy doesnt need to know while brothers alrdy know..
ouh well..

ok tts all for now..

8:50 PM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

Thursday, November 4, 2010

hopeful

i know this is not going to be smooth sailing..
but with god's willing, im sure things will turn out fine..

8:57 PM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

missing my twin..

psst..bf's fren said im hot..
hahaha!!
ouh well..only in pics i guess..wait till he sees me in person..
im far from hot! lol..

hmm lately ive been losing my temper..
getting cranky and all..
gosh..is the old lena back??
nah im just pms-ing..i always do every month without fail :P
hahaha..

anyway i miss amirah!!
miss her alot!!
it suddenly occured to me tt i havent met her for a long time..
but wait..i tink i just met her last friday..
lol..
gee..this week's schedule is so tight..
i have stuff going on everyday..
stressful week..
ok i tink im off now..
i wanna watch GLEE!! i missed so many episodes of "The Two of Us" btw!! :(

ps: do i see a little smirk on my face in this pic?? gee!!

9:23 PM
UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD

Boink Boink Love And Life Moves On...
	Monday, November 29, 2010 how can i be happy when you're not? :( sigh.. lately, bbon's been sighing alot.. i just dont want him to be sad or troubled.. i wish he knew tt for every sigh he lets out, i feel dampened.. i want him to know how much i want to be there for him.. but can i?? that just makes me feel worst.. cos i cant help cheer him up.. i cant help reduce his agony.. i cant do anything for him.. anyway my bro managed to secure an interview session for bbon.. i was freaking glad when my bro called me this morn to tell me the news.. i hope the interview goes well this wed so tt bbon's woes will go away.. but then again, did trying to help really helped?? how can i be happy when you're not?? :( 8:46 PM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD Sunday, November 28, 2010 down and unmotivated sigh.. tons of work and revision to do.. i want this phase to pass quickly.. ive been up to my neck this few days but fortunately i managed to stay happy throughout.. however, im not exactly that happy at the moment.. so many things to be done.. anyway had fun at work today.. went home, tired, fell asleep and now im awake.. gotta start doing work now.. god, pls let this phase pass quickly 5:36 PM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD Thursday, November 25, 2010 gonna be as busy as a bee! ok hello again.. i just finished updating the group's quotation report.. im supposed to study now.. well i will, soon.. after blogging probably.. anyway, i ate today.. damn i feel so FAT!! but i guess tts a good thing cos i need to fatten up.. grr!! anyway, exams are nearing, so.... im gonna be relatively busy in the next two weeks.. sigh.. ok wats in for me this week and next?? hmm CSW test tmr, job briefing on sat, work on sun, budget deadline on monday, venue & space presentation on tues.. did i miss out anything?? hmm and the week after next is test week!! ARGH.. save me!! stress is coming!! :'( lalalala..ok toodles..study time.. 8:45 PM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD Monday, November 22, 2010 where is my brother? havent heard from ezam yet.. he deactivated his facebook..he's seldom on msn.. how?? i feel worried.. what if he does something stupid over there?? sometimes i feel that we both share telepathy.. i feel what he feels.. i know how he's feeling.. sigh..pls call me bro.. 8:45 PM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD Sunday, November 21, 2010 i hate misunderstandings.. i made bbon mad at me again.. ok this time, i think its more of me hurting him.. why must i keep making him angry or hurt?? i really felt bad.. that was why i immediately went back down when he texted me.. honestly i felt the hurt in his text.. so what went through my mind was..... i had to go down and see him to tell him how sorry i am i swear if he had taken the bus and left i would have cried right there and then.. luckily he was still at the bus stop.. fortunately we managed to clear it up.. i still think im in the wrong though.. his words pierced through my heart but i know i have to handle it.. "would you text me if hadnt text you first? would you hold me if i hadnt hold you first?" i might not have answered it just now, but my answer is a definite YES! bbon im really sorry about my attitude towards you.. im sorry i let my mood affect the way i treated you.. i cant promise it wont happen again cos sometimes i just get cranky for no reason, but i promise it wont happen often.. :) thank goodness its all cleared now.. :) 9:44 PM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD one month have passed one month's passed.. well happy 1st month anniversary ryan iskandar.. its past 12mn..so its 21st alrdy..im late in blogging this.. its supposed to be on 20th..ouh well.. love you bbon.. 12:25 AM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD Friday, November 19, 2010 tears.. bbon was mad at me today :( it made me feel bad.. but i really didnt do anything wrong.. at least i told him.. cos i didnt wanna keep anything from him.. but he said my explanation doesnt make sense.. :'( i wasnt lying.. nvm.. ive been home the whole day after coming back from sch.. haven done anything productive.. and there i was blogging away and bbon rang me up.. he said he was under my block?? gasp!! so there he was, all smart dressed, back from work.. with a sunflower in his hands..(stuffed toy) i dont know what i was feeling.. its like i wanna cry, smile and scream.. but all in all, i just want him to know how much i love him.. and having this misunderstanding today, a day before our month anniversary, made me realise that being loved is a gift but loving someone is a greater gift.. i love you. 9:15 PM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD Wednesday, November 17, 2010 why oh why are posers around? little miss poser is back.. nyehnyehnyeh.. up to you.. i have no comments.. erm..but lets see.. have fun deluding yourself :) 6:14 PM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD Monday, November 15, 2010 finally the air is cleared ok like finally.. ive told my mummy about ryan.. erm it was tough..really.. showed her his pic.. mummy just laughed and said he looks chubby.. mummy was anticipating me to tell her anyway since somehow she alrdy knew.. ok thats the highlight for today.. ~toink toink toink~ ps: i really need to cut my hair soon.. 7:17 PM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD Sunday, November 14, 2010 questions why do you even bother coming home if you're fucking loaded?? arent you freaking rich now?? arent we nothing but trash in your eyes?? so why bother sticking around?? ps: i loathe you..even though part of you is in me, i wish it wasnt.. 8:47 PM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD long long day hello im tired.. i worked yst (since its past 12 now).. and after that, i went to fana's pit.. my back hurts but idk why.. ok anyway worked together with bf.. tts a first.. had to be stationed at this dragon's trail at sentosa.. cool or wat? b4 the amazing race started, we kinda took pictures and just do some stupid dupid stuff.. hmm.. but i aint have any pics of us together in my hp.. its all in his.. so..yeah.. it was a rather great experience.. had fun.. too much fun maybe?? haha..no idea.. ok anyway.. left fana's pit at arnd 10pm.. took bus..had some er.....random talks?? it was a random topic afterall wasnt it?? and i ended up hurting his feelings.. just to clear it up bf, i said the same thing over and over again cos im tired.. i really didnt mean it tt way.. ok and ezam's back frm thailand for a week.. now idk wat else to talk about.. my mind's a little messy at the moment.. alright.. im lazy, tired and cant think.. so im gonna buzz off now.. toodles noodleheads :) 12:41 AM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD Thursday, November 11, 2010 site visits arent so bad.. been having like tons of site visits.. here, there and everywhere.. but its kinda fun actually.. especially when you have fun ppl arnd.. anyway hmm..been feeling alright past few days i guess.. settled some minor stuff.. am currently on schedule i guess.. cant wait for saturday!! gonna work!! yay!! alright now i gtg get on with my work.. stupid research.. -.- ok bye! 10:22 PM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD Tuesday, November 9, 2010 old lena's back sigh.. the old man's at it again.. sometimes i just wish he's mute or something.. seriously.. i feel like leaving home.. i really do.. but where can i go?? what do i have?? money?? yeah i have tt, but how long can i last with the amount i have?? 3-4 months?? what will happen then?? i die?? gee.. i dont wanna flare up, i wanna avoid confrontations.. so what should i do?? just shut myself up?? risk becoming insane for bottling up like fuck?? ive had enough.. i just wish to go through each day without experiencing much hoo haa.. do you feel me?? sigh.. i wish someone does.. 7:18 PM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD Sunday, November 7, 2010 er?? whats my purpose today?? ok sexy and hotties.. for the first time in my blogging history, my blogger's dying.. aww.. no i shall try not to let it die although seriously, all blogs are dying nowadays.. thanks to other social networks like facebook and twitter.. wait, why am i talking about this?? ok change of topic, er..here in the pic above is me and mr ryan iskandar!! mummy doesnt know about him yet.. i'll tell her soon.. daddy doesnt need to know while brothers alrdy know.. ouh well.. ok tts all for now.. 8:50 PM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD Thursday, November 4, 2010 hopeful i know this is not going to be smooth sailing.. but with god's willing, im sure things will turn out fine.. 8:57 PM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD Wednesday, November 3, 2010 missing my twin.. psst..bf's fren said im hot.. hahaha!! ouh well..only in pics i guess..wait till he sees me in person.. im far from hot! lol.. hmm lately ive been losing my temper.. getting cranky and all.. gosh..is the old lena back?? nah im just pms-ing..i always do every month without fail :P hahaha.. anyway i miss amirah!! miss her alot!! it suddenly occured to me tt i havent met her for a long time.. but wait..i tink i just met her last friday.. lol.. gee..this week's schedule is so tight.. i have stuff going on everyday.. stressful week.. ok i tink im off now.. i wanna watch GLEE!! i missed so many episodes of "The Two of Us" btw!! :( ps: do i see a little smirk on my face in this pic?? gee!! 9:23 PM UnDeRsToOdEdOoDeD	HER LeNa 15 July 1991 HAS OBESOPHOBIA loves Gummies LiNkS ♥ FAMILY ZaM ♥ WEIRDO!! NEXY?? ♥ DEPM02 DEPM 02 GhOsT(PeiYi) JaZrEeL JiEtInG RaeYi TiNgLeOnG ViViEn YuHua ♥ SP MATES ABE CLUB FaR HaZiQaH/aRi HeLmI iFFa NaD NaS NaShRuL NeSaAr nOrLiN ShErMaNn Zara ♥ EX-SKSS aIdEeL AMIRAWR Elly Tan FiRhAn HaFiZ JoLyN SnG KhAiRuL Zonkers Lair ♥ OTHER PALS HaFiZ SuKoR JaCk LiNa MaMaT RoNg RuDy SaLiZa sYaMiLaH MeMoRiEs May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 May 2011 November 2011 April 2012 LaLaLaLa Music Playlist at MixPod.com CrEdItS Biggest credit: the bikini boy Editor: JollyPills/:B